Disclaimer: The following story is a parody of The Vision of Escaflowne, copyrighted by Sunrise and Emotion. The author means absolutely no disrespect towards the series or creators of this series, since it is one of greatest anime series ever produced. Arigato Gozimasu!
Van stood defiantly in front of Dilandu, his most hated adversary. The faced each other on a cliff high up in the mountains. Here, was no help for either. It was just them two, their swords, and only one would come out alive. There were no words left, not anymore. They had known each other too long for that anymore. Van wiped his brow, hand coming away in blood and sweat, and grinned. He was going to enjoy this kill. Dilandu only grinned back. The warriors clashed into each other once again, sparks flew, reds flared, and the ground was stained satin.
Van parried Dilandu’s thrust, and counterattacked with a broad, sweeping cut. Dilandu easily blocked the maneuver and charged in closer, now using quick jabbing attacks. Van jumped back, defending himself with counter sword-strokes, until he slipped on some loose gravel and feel down, but his head never touched ground. It was the peak of the cliff, and he almost fell off. Thank gods for gravel. Dilandu smiled and charged at Van’s neck, but the King of Fanelia had other plans. He swiped Dilandu’s legs with one of his own, and caught the other with his other, then twisted his body around, falling Dilandu and throwing him over the edge with one move. Enraged, Van’s opponent dropped his sword and grabs Van’s legs, send both of them plunging to their doom…
Hitomi suddenly came to, facing her computer screen. She shook her head, trying to throw the vision, but it didn’t change the fact that she had it. On the computer screen was the fruit of months of labor, Hitomi’s Vision of Escaflowne webpage, www.hitomi.com (Author’s note: There is no such webpage… That I know of. And if there is, it has no relevance to the story. So :P). She had spent the money on getting own domain name and everything, collected all sorts of screenshots and artwork, writing several FAQs, summaries, and other such neat stuff. And then she coded it all in HTML herself. She was really quite proud of herself. The Vision of Escaflowne was, without a doubt, her favorite anime series ever. She even had convinced her parents to let her change her name to Hitomi, and not Linda. What kind a name is Linda, anyway? No where near as nice as Hitomi. She sighed, finally glad that the work was finished. She looked around her Ecsaflowne-packed room. There was no doubt about it; she was an otaku, the secret society of geeks and rejects that throw their unbearable hatred into watching anime, and not shooting other people like right-minded individuals should.
Suddenly a blue light suddenly flashed across her room. “What?” she asked as she looked over to her computer screen. It was fine, but then it spontaneously flashed blue again, and went back to normal. And just for a second, she swore that she was the weirdest rendering of Escaflowne that she had ever seen…
“Worms” she muttered to herself as she started to check her preferences, and then monitor screen started to pour out of the monitor. Hitomi screamed, but no voice came out of her mouth, and she couldn’t move. The liquid monitor screen then began to reform back into a screen in the monitor, and the webpage was suddenly quite different.
“Esca… Wormie…?” she muttered to herself as she looked at her revamped webpage. She looked around her room. She screamed again, and this time it came out loud and scared. But it didn’t matter; there was no one to listen. There wasn’t even a room around here, but long, rolling plains. He turned her head towards her computer, but it was gone as well. Hitomi looked down; she was sitting on a rock. Where was she?
“Gaea?” she whispered to herself as it suddenly hit her. Sure enough, it looked much like the world of her favorite anime. She stood up, trying to grasp the situation. “Am I… asleep?” Hitomi asked herself as she knelt down to pluck a blade of grass from the ground. It sure did not feel like a dream that was for sure. She sniffed the grass. It had a pleasant smell, much like the grass on Earth. But this wasn’t Earth, it was Gaia. She was sure of it. She didn’t know how, but she was now on Gaia. How did it happen? Why did it happen? Now was she going to get back? Did she even want to get back? Hitomi wasn’t sure about anything right now, except that she was tired. First things first then, she decided. I’ll have to find some shelter, and get some sleep. Then when I wake up in the morning, I can have a better look around. Yeah, that’s it… She found a comfy-looking spot by a tree, and fell asleep…
Hitomi awoke in her bed, in her own room, on Earth the next morning. She sighed, looking up at the ceiling, watch the blades of her ceiling fan turn about, circulating the air. It was a dream, after all. But… It was so vivid… But does that mean… She looked over at her computer, and there was her website, the computer still running. So she had put the website up, that was for real. I guess I just fell asleep and forgot to turn it off… Hitomi thought as she sat down in front of her computer. She glanced around, and then noticed the counter on the site. 76 hits, already?!? her thoughts exclaimed as she refreshed the internet browser. Sure enough, 76 people had already checked out her website, only hours after she put it up. Hitomi grinned from ear to ear. Her website was a success! A bonifide success! She started to laugh spellstruck about the current turn of events. She stopped when she realized that she would be late for school if she didn’t get ready…
Hitomi waved her dad bye as she walked into the halls of St. Paul’s Christian Academy, a private high school. She walked down to her locker, entered the combination into the lock, and opened it. On top of all her other books was her Geometry book, with a Stick-it note attached to it. It said:
Be sure to study for the History exam tomorrow! – Hitomi
“Oh no!” Hitomi exclaimed, then put her hands over mouth, so not to embarrass herself. She had forgotten about the history exam she had. The bell then rang, and she cursed her luck. History was her sixth period class. Maybe she could find time to cram before then. She sure hoped so. Hitomi grudgedly grabbed her books and headed for her doom…
Julie looked at her watch annoyed. “Where is Hitomi?” She asked herself she looked towards the door leading out of the field and into the school. If Hitomi didn’t hurry it up, she would be late for track. Hitomi suddenly leapt from doors and ran over to her best friend. “Hitomi!” Julie scolded Hitomi; “You’re going to be late!”
“I’m but, my history essay took a lot longer than I thought and… Ugh!” Hitomi caught her bag with all her stuff as Julie shoved it her way. Hitomi trudged off to the locker room while Julie sighed. It was going to be a long day.
Hitomi had just gotten out of the locker room when Julie started to call out, “Hurry up! Bubba’s about to run!”
“What, really?” Hitomi rushed over to Julie in order to get a better view of the run.
Bubba Smith. The pride of the St. Paul’s Christian Academy Men’s Track Team. And the main reason why Hitomi joined the Women’s Track Team. Even though she was pretty good at running, she had never even thought to do track, until she saw Bubba. She should have realized it sooner, though. Since she was so much like the anime character she admired so much, of course she would fall for the men’s track team star? It made perfect sense if you thought about it. Some of the other guys at the school say that he is gay, but listen to those geeks, anyway?
But there he was, in all his glory, prepping for his final run for the day. The coach began to count down. 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Go! The runners bursted onto the track with the sound of the gun, Bubba taking an early lead. 12 seconds later, he crossed the finish line in first. Julie just started at her stopwatch. “12… seconds… 12 seconds! Whoa!” She looked as excited as Hitomi was. Julie then looked over at Hitomi. “He beat 12 seconds! He is so cool… Hey. Hitomi. Hitomi!”
“Huh?” Hitomi responded, her mind somewhere else.
“They just called for the girl’s track team. You need to get over there” Julie then stated, waiting for Hitomi to move it.
“Oh, right… Ahh!” She glared at Julie, who had pulled down her pants, revealing her shorts. Hitomi gasped angrily. While she was going to do it herself… It was the principle of the thing. Julie just responded with, “Get over there.” Hitomi did.
Hitomi studied the straight-away, preparing mentally for the run ahead. She cleared her mind, and placed her pendant into her shirt. It was just a little glass pendant, but it looked just like Hitomi’s from the anime. She had gotten it at Anime Expo last year. She then though again about the task at hand. The coach began to count down, 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Go! The women began to slam into the pavement towards the finish line. Hitomi started off slow then began to overtake the other females, and Van was standing right there in front of her.
Huh? Hitomi pondered, but not for long. The world she knew slipped from under feet, knocking her into nothingness. She was suddenly confronted with hordes of images… Prince Van leaving to slay the dragon, Escaflowne… Or at least the top half of it, A-Team episodes, DMX music videos… And… Worms? From the video game? What was going on with her? She suddenly felt very sleepy again, and drifted off, with dancing worms prancing about like sugar-plum fairies in her head… With only one word calling out to her…
She began to awaken in the school’s infirmary, looking up to her high school crush, Bubba.
“Bubba-sempai? I… uh…” She fidgeted around, confused. Today had been a real doozie.
“Shh… Don’t try to speak to much.” The big lug said softy. “Are you hurt?”
“No… At least I don’t think so.” Hitomi responded.
“That’s good. I was worried.” Bubba said comfortably.
“Really?” Hitomi asked, surprised written in her voice and face.
“Yeah. Say, what’s that pendant?” He pointed at her chest.
“Oh, this?” She looked down at her Escaflowne pendant. “I got this an anime convention.”
“Anime?” He asked.
“Yeah, Japanese animation.” Hitomi answered.
“Oh, Japananimation! I watched that um… Akira. Yeah. That was pretty good. What’s that pendant’s Japananimation.” He then asked.
“Something much better than Akira. And, it’s not Japananimation, it’s anime.” Hitomi responded, with a very light hint of annoyance at the word “Japananimation”.
“Oh, is that so?” The track star replied as he began to smile. “Perhaps we should get together… and watch that… anime.” He began to lean closer to Hitomi, and closer, closer, till they were only a centimeter apart. Oh god, is he about to kiss me? Hitomi wondered till the mood was shattered as Julie opened the door. Then all Hitomi could think of was just how embarrassed she was.
“Oh come on Julie, speak to me!” Hitomi pleaded as the two walked home from school. Julie hadn’t talked to her since she busted in on Bubba and Hitomi in the infirmary. “Julie!” she continued.
“Hmm… I think some chocolate ice cream should do the trick.” Julie the said as they crossed a street.
“What?” Hitomi asked, confused.
“Yeah. Or maybe vanilla. Or…” Julie began to giggle. “How about some Bubblegum Crisis? Or some Wedding Peach?” The two began to laugh. As the laughter died down Julie looked at Hitomi seriously.
“What is it Julie?” Hitomi asked.
“It’s… It’s just that.” Her best friend began, “Bubba, is moving away.”
“What?” Hitomi reacted, shocked.
“Yeah, I heard it as I was walking over to the infirmary to see how you were doing. He’s moving away to another school. I’m… I’m sorry. I know how you feel for him and all, and I just… I just…” Julie began to softy cry, and Hitomi hugged her.
“It’s okay Julie, really. Don’t worry about it.” Hitomi reassured. “How about some of that Wedding Peach?”
“That anime? It’s horrible. How about some Escaflowne instead?” Julie then asked, recomposing herself.
“I thought you’d never asked.” Hitomi responded with a smile.
Hitomi sat in her room that night checking webpages. Julie and her had talked about Bubba moving off all afternoon, so she decided to check out her horoscopes. Sadly, she had never really gotten the hang of Tarot card readings, so this was next best thing. It took her awhile to find a site with horoscopes that she could trust, but after a few months of looking she was finally able to find one. She fretted as the page loaded itself. She punched in her birth date and waited. After waiting an eternity of a few moments, she got her horoscope:
Saturn piledrives Neptune into the mat after last night’s exciting bout; this is a sign of change. Things that were at one time normally the same are going to change drastically. But don’t worry. You’ll get through it. But how you handle it will affect what friends you will keep and what friends you will lose. Choose your actions carefully.
Oh no… Hitomi thought as she read the horoscope. Change? Losing friends? Bubba IS going to move away! Hitomi fretted some more, the reassured herself. No, wait, you haven’t lost anything yet. The horoscope did say that your actions will determine what friends you keep and what friends you lose. Maybe if…
Hitomi thought for a moment. It might work, though if she tried it, who knows what might happen… No, it would work. Even if the entire day felt like déjà vu, she was somehow sure that this plan would work. It almost worked for Escaflowne’s Hitomi; it would surely work for her, right? Besides, in real life young girls aren’t sent to wacky dimensions. That’s only in cartoons, right? At least she hoped so.
Hitomi prepped for her run. The sense of déjà vu was unmistakable. It felt as if she really was Hitomi from Escaflowne. Bubba had agreed that if she could beat the thirteen-second mark, he would give her first kiss. Julie was there as well. Hitomi cleared her mind and began her ran when she heard Bubba say “GO!” But Hitomi was worried. She was real, and not some cartoon. This time it would work out. This time… She rammed into Van just like the cartoon show. Yeah, that Van. You know the guy, the suicidal lanky white boy from the television series that was always plagued by Merle? Yeah, that Van.
The two collided and slammed into the ground. Van was the first one to hop back up, and wasted no time in beginning to proclaim the three as demons. However, since he was speaking in a Gaian language, no of them understood him. Except Hitomi. Just like in that TV show…
“No, we are NOT demons! Geez… Wait a minute… There wouldn’t be a dragon coming in right behind you, would there?” she asked. Julie and Bubba were just staring at her, confused.
“… Draaa-gone?” Van asked. “What’s a dragon?”
“Oh, good.” Hitomi then said with a sigh of relief.
“But if I came, it will be sure to follow.” Van then said, looking up into the sky.
“IT?!? I thought you said you didn’t know a dragon was…” Hitomi began before she realized just what it was. A huge, no… an obnoxiously huge walrus came charging through a burst of light, screaming like a pissed off marsupial with its tail being stepped on. Hitomi just stared at it, now just as thoroughly confused as the others were.
“A… a… WALRUS!?!” Hitomi exclaimed to herself as Bubba hosted her on his back and started running with Julie, since they already had time to adjust. “It’s supposed to be friggin’ DRAGON! With computer-generated skin and everything!” But sure enough, when Hitomi looked at the huge rampaging walrus fighting with Van again, she realized that the walrus, too, had computer-generated skin. “Okay, but still! How is a walrus supposed to breathe fire?” In seeming perfect response, the walrus’s tusks began to glow hot red, and then a huge energy blast erupted from them, hurtling Van into a far off tree, almost breaking his back.
“Okay… nevermind.” Hitomi then said as she began to adjust, and jumped off Bubba’s back to run away herself, which was a good thing considering the walrus was rampaging towards them (Although that fact in of itself was not good). The three ran up some stairs to the local shrine, the walrus right behind trying its darnedest to blast them into oblivion. Fortunately, the walrus was quite clumsy, and couldn’t really get a good shot out while running. Too bad Hitomi, Bubba, and Julie were fast running of space to run. They got to the shrine, and stopped, unable to run anymore. Hitomi looked up at the walrus, and sighed. Of all the things that could have came out of another dimension in and kill her… why did it just have to a walrus? Oh, sure, a huge energy blasting killer walrus, but still, it was a walrus. Not exactly something you want on your tombstone. But there it was: a huge energy blasting walrus, about to kill her and her friends. But right then suddenly Van appeared out of nowhere and began attacking the beast, his sword bouncing back from the impenetrable CG skin.
This is just like the original episode of Escaflowne! Hitomi realized. Okay, sure, there are some major differences, but this scene right here is JUST like the show. In fact, it was really accurate; I would be having a vision of Van about to d… Hitomi’s thoughts stopped, only to experience a vision of Van dying to the walrus. Right on cue… “Van look out!” she screamed, giving Van that necessary last minute warning so he could dodge out of the way and strike the walrus dead. All three of the students heaved a sigh of relief. Van then sliced into the walrus, pulling out a large red crystal, an energist. He then walked over to Hitomi. He looked up at her and said, “Hey, thanks a lot.” and smiled. Hitomi just stared at him.
He… thanked me? She asked herself. The real Van would have never… Then she realized, there was no real Van. That was just a television show… wasn’t? Besides, if was the TV show, her pendant would start glowing and responding to the energist… and the two of them would fly up to Gaea… And just then… the two items just mentioned began to glow. Hitomi sighed, and looked the pendant around her neck. “Oh well…” she said to herself as she walked over Van, and a huge column of light sent them off on their way…